as soon as i got a sense
of existential alarm,
i immediately started looking
for a getaway car,
i hijacked an old hooptie
from off of a farm,
and joyrided my vehicle of escape
under the stars,
*
i was chased through multiple states
by the laws long arms,
i moved place to place –
but always felt one pace away from the prison yard,
*
psychedelic visions
and psychopathic charm,
the gifts i was given
wont get you far,
*
one day I did something
truly bizarre,
i stopped running and
i faced my charge,
the judge found me guilty
of living a farce,
and handed me a sentence
of life behind bars,
*
that evening, after eating
and playing some cards,
i laid on my bunk
and read some brouillard,
maybe life in prison
wont be so hard,
i got ready for bed
and said goodnight to the guard,
*
psychedelic visions
and psychopathic charm,
the gifts i was given
wont get you far,
*
alarm’s screaming,
can’t see,
minds reeling,
simultaneously feeling
the floor
and the ceiling,
*
something stirred in the blackness
beneath this dream noir,
until it pushed through the madness,
and lifted a casket lid ajar,
*
i opened my eyes
*
from behind a self image
that was permanently scarred,
emerged a sense of self
that was beyond all harm,
*
i looked down at my flesh
and saw it as if from afar,
i was surprised i was still dressed
in a prisoners garb,
i stood silent in the middle
of a busy boulevard,
knowing i was both a prisoner of my fate
and a criminal at large,
*
i started crying and
laughing hard,
i hadn’t changed
but i got a new start,
*
eyes full of longing
and a mouth full of barbs,
a smile on my face
and lungs full of tar,
*
i was exactly the same,
the spirit of freedom
uses you as you are,
i was exactly the same,
besides that now
the spirit of freedom
was alive in my heart.